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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23034598">Wasted Breath</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FroggyHopscotch/pseuds/FroggyHopscotch'>FroggyHopscotch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>D.Gray-man</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drunkenness, Gen, Kanda is unimpressed, Monitoring Allen Walker is a full-time job okay? Link misses things on occasion, Rated T because Kanda likes to swear</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:00:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23034598</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FroggyHopscotch/pseuds/FroggyHopscotch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Link babbles a bit, Kanda wishes he'd shut up.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Wasted Breath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just something short I wrote a while back that I finally got around to cleaning up enough to post.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was drunk.</p><p>The fucking Crow was <em>drunk.</em></p><p>And currently sprawled on "Allen's" bed in their Inn room, swinging his feet slightly against the side as he counted the crossbeams in the ceiling. Kanda could hear him whispering in German, and getting stuck at sieben for the Fucking Irritating-th time, blinking in confusion as he lost his place before starting over. <em>Again.</em></p><p>"Eins... zwei... drei... vier..." more squinting at the ceiling, "fünf-"</p><p>"There's fucking nine of them, now will you shut <em>up</em> already!?"</p><p>"...'sorry."</p><p>Whoever thought it was a good idea to send Kanda on a mission with the Beansprout and his Crow stalker with no one else to act as buffer, was an <em>idiot.</em></p><p>It didn't help when Allen had stumbled back into their room all but carrying his watcher and dropping him on the nearest surface that wasn't the floor, before rushing back out yammering on about asshole bar owners with leads they wouldn't hand over unless you bought a few drinks and old ladies who wouldn't talk to anyone without manners; leaving Kanda to babysit.</p><p>Kanda pressed the heel of his palm into the bridge of his nose. </p><p>"You're drunk as all hell right now, aren't you."</p><p>"Unfoturne- Unfro-" Link's face scrunched, "Un-for-tune-ate-ly. I think. Yes." he paused, "It's terrible. I can't see straight." He glared at the ceiling and added in a mumble, "Or count straight."</p><p>"Or <em>think</em> straight." Kanda rolled his eyes, leaning back against his own headboard, "How the hell did you get so drunk? Didn't think you would let anything stop you from stalking Beansprout-"</p><p>Link's eyes widened in almost-panicked realization and he shot bolt upright from his sprawl with a shout of "Walker!" and Kanda saw the exact moment he registered the consequence-no, <em>punishment</em>-for the reckless action; the flush of the alcohol fading to a dizzying paleness as he tried to stand.</p><p>And promptly keeled over onto the floor with a hard <em>thunk.</em></p><p>Kanda blinked, caught off guard. And then let the pleasant twist of schadenfreude in his chest drag a mocking grin across his face. One that would have had Lenalee frowning at him in disapproval had she been there.</p><p>...Or maybe she would have joined him; she hated Crows almost as much as he did after all, and watching a straight-laced Crow stumble and face-plant was the closest Kanda would ever come to actually using the word Hysterical.</p><p>"I would tell you not to get me in trouble by dying, trying to wander after him, but I doubt you can even open the door right now."</p><p>It was quiet, and muffled, but Kanda was pretty sure that was disgruntled cursing. Possibly in Latin. </p><p>"You going to answer the question now?"</p><p>There was another, much quieter thud. </p><p>"It was s'pposed to be <em>wine.</em>"</p><p>Kanda leaned over to look at Link, unimpressed, "You got <em>this</em> drunk off of <em>wine?"</em></p><p>Another thud, and now Kanda could see it was the Crow's head hitting against the floor, probably right on the stupid spots. </p><p>"No, It was <em>supposed</em> to be wine." the Crow almost sounded whiny, "Someone put <em>Brandy</em> in it."</p><p>"And what, you, a fucking Crow, didn't <em>notice?</em>"</p><p>Link lolled his head over to glare weakly up at Kanda.</p><p>"<em>You</em> try paying anttet...attention to the bottle when Walker's just nearly set the table on fire. I was more concrerned with being <em>thrown out</em> before we got the information."</p><p>Kanda was tempted to whack his own head against something, "You <em>did</em> get the lead at least, right?"</p><p>The Crow nodded, cheek pressed to the wooden boards, "Allen bent a fork in half."</p><p>Kanda wasn't even going to try to decipher that one.</p><p>"So that's where the idiot ran off to?"</p><p>"I assume so." a pause, "It had <em>better</em> be."</p><p>A snort escaped before Kanda could stop it, "Like you could do jack-shit if it wasn't." </p><p>"I could hide his socks." </p><p>Staring at the Crow as if he were an idiot-which he <em>was</em>-Kanda couldn't help but wish for some alcohol himself. The suggestion was too stupid to merit a response, so he didn't give it one.</p><p>"You just staying on the floor, or what?" Kanda stretched his leg out to nudge Link in the ribs, toeing just behind the line of what could be called a kick.</p><p>Link rolled onto his side and clumsily batted Kanda's foot away.</p><p>"Yes. Floors are better'thn beds. You don't have to worry about falling off them." with some effort, Link managed to escape his coat, throwing it over himself haphazardly, "And 'Kusa's a prick, who likes to short sheet beds. Jokes on him, I <em>like</em> the floor. It's safer."</p><p>Kanda threw the closest thing he could grab-Which turned out to be a pillow-at the Crow's head. </p><p>"Good for you; now <em>shut up."</em></p>
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